So Happy to End 2016 Bc…

This has been the longest year in my life, no …not literally, but you get it.

So lets see… I had three miscarriages, which no one knows about. (Except Jake, of course). And even though they were not “terrible” I definitely affected myself, my relationship, and Jake. I am just happy to leave these things behind. Soon after my OB told us we could not have children and that we should look into infertility treatments. Seriously? Im not even 25! Boy was I pissed. So anyways, yeah. I am happy to leave that in 2016.

On the up side, I went back to school for Nursing and it is going great. (4.0 great, *wink*). I am looking and applying for some new jobs, related to healthcare and I am excited to be moving forward.

We also bought (another) brand new car. Its a 2016 Chevy Equinox. It is super cute and a good size for us but it isn’t so great on gas.

I unintentionally abandoned this blog b/c I just could not keep up with it. But the good news is that I have an exciting announcement coming January 2017 and the hint is that is involves the future of this blog. Until then, I will be updating everything here and messing around with some designs. I hope to gain back my old followers and also get some new ones before the announcement.

TTYL.

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Pinch Me, I Must Be Dreaming.

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Oh. Em. Gee! (I literally keep screaming b/c I cannot even believe I am about to announce this.)

Jake…and I, had our first baby, together. (:

I know I never announced that we were expecting but that is b/c we built our baby.

Now. Without further ado, I introduce to you: Cassio R-D. Our Build-A-Bear son.

Today we had the pleasure of creating him. As exciting as this is, it is not the biggest part of our news.

Today, we even had the pleasure of checking out…PAUSE.

Lets first take a quick look at our relationship, how I feel about him, and how he feels about me.

*Note: This is long, feel free to skip to the next italic section to get the short version of this post.*

Our Story:
we met ‘online’ Jan. 2014. We hung out soon after. Our first meeting was really laid back and casual. While I thought he was a little boring, and he thought I was crazy (I pulled my taser out on him. Lol.) We both wanted to see each other again.

By Feb. 2014, we knew we would be together. He asked me out, and I agreed. We have exclusively been dating since then.

Not long after, he expressed his love for me. While I was a little surprised (b/c technically he claimed to have loved me before we were dating), I actually believed him.

Well since then, we have moved in together. Met the parents. (Grand parents and cousins too). Etc.

Recently, during a deep conversation with him, I realized just how much he means to me. I realized that he is literally he most amazing man that I know (and in the world). There is nothing I would not do for him. And I really love him. Everything about him.

I enjoy how he keeps me grounded and can always calm me down. I enjoy how easily he can make me laugh and smile. I enjoy how he interacts with my family. I enjoy how dedicated he is to making me happy. I enjoy how he makes me a better person. And most importantly, I enjoy how he accept me as I am. (Like really, I am in serious need of anger management and he is so dedicated to helping me through the process.)

Just for the record, I have never felt like this about anyone before. He is my first love, as well as my first serious relationship. There is not anyone else I would rather be with. He impresses and surprises me everyday. I cannot wait until we can spend the rest of our days together.

Back to the initial story…

Today, Jake and I looked at some rings! Yes, rings. Wedding rings. Engagement rings. Promise rings. Etc.

It was soo much fun. I tried some things on. We talked prices, styles, colors, materials, etc. The women were so nice and helpful. They took my ‘no vision’ (b/c this was our first day looking, we had nothing in mind) an turned it into a beautiful ring.

Yep, this means we picked the ring out. (Pics coming soon, as it first has to be sized and picked up).

I cannot wait to share the pics with everyone.

Now, as anyone can imagine, this day was beyond perfect and special. I do not think you guys actually understand!

The past few days, we stayed the night at my moms place (to celebrate Mimi’s birthday -pics coming soon). However, my mom mentioned that (long story short) I was smothering Jake.

And jokingly, he agreed. I was devastated. Not b/c he agreed, but b/c this was the first time anyone has ever said anything. And… I know it is true.

B/c we live together, we obviously do not get much time apart. However, whenever we go out, I have to hold his hand. Or sit next to him. And basically… smother him.

Now, it is not intentional however, since he started third shift, our schedule has been off. He gets home early, we eat. Nap. I get up soon after, but he is still sleeping. And before you know it, he is getting up and ready for work.

While we are physically together everyday, we have not spent as much time together. We have not done dinner and a movie in a couple weeks. We have not cooked together for a while. And we have not taken a walk for a while. It has been work-work-work for the past few weeks.

Then, to make things worse, we have not even been spending time together on his off days. We used to spend those days staying in bed and cuddling, but b/c he is helping my family paint, we have been with them. And everyone loves him, so they want to hang out with him. And play with him. And talk to him. So I have been forced to share my boyfriend with everyone else, note- our lack of time alone.

I know I should be happy that everyone loves him, and he loves them however, it just makes me feel like I never get him to myself. It also made me realize just how mean I am. Not to him, but to everyone. (I should be excused, I need anger management… like really). But, I shall not justify anything. I guess there is a small part of me that is afraid he will possibly break up with me b/c ‘I am so rude and so mean.’

So after a long few days of feeling like a terrible and annoying gf, I decided to give him a break and stay away for the weekend. But after spending time together today, we assured me that I have nothing to worry about.

It feels good. No great. Well… it is an inexplicable feeling.

Well this has been a very long and emotional post (no, I did not cry… I am not the crying type.), I must bring it to an end. For I have some things to look up and some planning to do.

But… to recap, we had a baby bear and picked out the most beautiful ring in the world today. I am internally and externally grateful for Jake.

A Party For Jake.

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Lets first discuss this pic: It is my ‘Happy Birthday’ page. It includes some hand lettering as well as illustrations. As you can see, I am getting pretty darn good. 🙂

I am really proud of my work, so more pics coming soon.

So July 6 will be Jake’s 25th birthday*. So with his birthday coming up, I decided to buy him a gift and throw him a surprise party.

The Gift:

As you probably can guess, the gift was the hardest part. I could not decide what to get him. He does not play videos games, he does not have any real hobbies, and I hate getting people things they ‘need’ over things they ‘want’ for their birthday. After searching long and hard, I could not choose between a Beef Jerky variety set and Doctor Who disappearing coffee mug.

Well we played a game where I call out random gifts in a random order (with the two gifts I was most heavily considering included) and he told me ‘yes’ or ‘no’ on whether or not he would want it.

It turned out he did not want either. 😦

And my initial thought was to get him a really nice and rather expensive Coach wallet. (It was like super nice and he needed one b/c his old one was falling apart.) But… he needed it and I know he is not particularly into expensive things.

So I literally had no idea what to get him and I wanted to give up. But we went to the outlet mall and could not pass up the great sales going on in Coach and we ended up with a Coach wallet (for him) and a Coach bag (for me). 😉

Everything was great.

The Party:

Due to everything going on, we had to postpone the party to one day later. And right before I knew it my mom had shared the news, so it was no longer a surprise.

So yesterday we grilled a few things, had some pasta, and cake. It was a lot of fun. I think he enjoyed himself. We even saw fireworks downtown and did some sparklers with the littles.

Over the time we stayed with my family, he talked to his parents, who obviously wanted to come visit him for his birthday.

Only problem is, they planned to come Sunday and I would be here Sunday b/c I have a community service-free weekend.

The Parents:

Because they were planning to come this weekend, I asked if he wanted me to go home so he could spend time with them alone.

Well he stated that I could stay, if I wanted to meet him. (Awkward Moment.)

Now, it is not that I do not want to meet them. I just feel that he felt a bit obligated b/c he has met my entire family. I would have preferred he allowed me to meet them on his own terms, perhaps a time when he felt more comfortable and less obligated. I am in no rush to meet them, I just like for things to happen naturally.

So we did not talk about it more, until he was headed to work. I attempted to get out of it, by saying I would go home and come back next weekend. However, it was too late. Apparently he told his dad that I would be here. So I got stuck here in a sense.

And now I just feel awkward b/c I am not really sure he genuinely wants me to meet them.

But for the record, I am not upset nor am I nervous. Everyone loves me.

So expect another post after the weekend.

From, My Soulmate.

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In case you did not know, Coke is running a new campaign. The ‘Share a Coke” campaign. So at this time you may notice ‘personalized’ Coke cans/bottles. Apparently the company took the 250 most common names to use for the project. Cute, right? Yep.

Any-who, Jake decided to ‘Share a Coke’ with me. Lol but unfortunately they did not have my name. (Of Course! Ps… if your name is not on a can, Coke will be doing a tour this Summer so you can create your own personalized can. Visit the campaign site to find tour dates/sites.)

However, while shopping the other day he bought a 12 pack b/c it was on sale. Inside of this box they used more general titles for people (instead of names). They included: BFF, Buddy, Star, Legend…etc.

So I was lucky enough to get the ‘Soulmate’ can from Jake. (Pictured above). And it was so sweet.

Now, Jake is obviously really sweet… and I am not. However, he does often try to make me sweeter. (Lol). He always convinces me to do the right thing, and to apologize, etc. And I surely do appreciate it. However, recently, when I did not take his advice on apologizing, he was pretty ‘disappointed in me.’

(The Background: I was sitting on the couch watching tv, when my younger brother -9years- decided to throw things at me. Now, he threw more than one thing at me, and I politely asked him to stop. But when he did not stop, I grew very upset and threw a plastic pack of baby diapers at him. He began to cry. And guess who was the bad guy??? -If you guessed me, correct!)

Since he has decided to share his Coke, I guess I am now in the clear. Ps…funny side note, I actually do not drink soda, therefore he essentially shared the can and drank the soda. Lol.

Same House, Different Bed.

Same House, Different Bed.

So I recently (like really recently) posted about Jake and I moving in together.

I basically talked about how we just “went for it” and everything was great!

Well, I do not know if that is the case anymore. ):

So being with someone all the time (but not 24/7 bc he works outside of the house, and I do nothing all day. Whomp!) you start to notice all the things you do not like about them.

While I feel this move has showed Jake that I am a lot bossier, and maybe meaner (ugh, who am I kidding? I KNOW he thinks I am mean bc he tells me everyday. Lol), I am still convinced he is in it for the long run. (Or however that saying goes. You know, the one basically saying someone is going to stick around? Yeah, that one.)

So even though there are things he probably does not prefer about me, I know he appreciates them. Even how I wake him up, when he is sleeping like a baby.

But… it is different for me.

All this time, I told myself there was only one thing I did not like about him. (Lol and he already knows it. However, when sleeping with him everyday, I have learned that I am not as fond of his snoring, his ability to sleep the day away, and… the way he moves every five minutes! (Ps… still not talking behind his back, because he knows that too. Lol!)

Yesterday, I had a great idea: Lets sleep in different beds! (:

I figured if we slept in an L-shape, we could still gaze in each others’ eyes and talk, just as we would if we were together. Except, this was better! I did not have to hear him snore (as loud), I would not wake him when I got up (I am up at 7A and he is up by noon… if I am lucky), and I did not have to deal with him moving so much.

Awesome idea, right? WRONG! (I know you guessed it, otherwise, there would not be much of a story here. )

Anyways, I literally felt soo far away from him. And… I was cold like all night. ):

Luckily we got up at the same time in the middle of the night and had a type of mini-date. We just watched Twilight Zone and talked, lol. But it was the best part of that whole stupid night.

I cannot believe I came up with an idea so stupid, lol. But, I guess it was fun to try something different.

Ps… I was so cold I made us hold hands during the night. Haha.

So, I write this to say: I do not prefer Jake’s snoring, or him moving so much, or how late he wakes up. BUT… I definitely appreciate that (and everything else) about him. ❤

Its The Little Things.

Its The Little Things.

So here is pic of Jake and I, from last week.

Definitely my fav pic of us bc its the only framed pic that we have together. Plus its cute and I made put it together.

So Happy (Late) Easter. (:

Now Easter is one of those holidays that some people feel they need to recieve gifts, candies, etc for. However, I don’t feel that way. (Actually, I am not by any means a holiday person. So yeah. ) But Jake is.

So when Jake found out I was not going to church and no one in my family made me an Easter basket, he decided to take it upon himself to do so. (I know a pic of the things he got me would have been better, but I like the pic of us better. Lol).

So he goes out and buys me tons of chocolate. All my favorite things. Even Magnum ice cream bars (my krypton)! So you can imagine how effing excited I was. I got him goodies also, specifically the items to make s’mores bc he had never had them. Plus I could not find beef jerky or black licorice, which he loves so that worked too.

Now we had a fun Easter, hanging out. Blah, blah.

So yesterday, the day after Easter, we decided to make the s’mores and hang out. Well the initial plan was for him to stay the night, but bc he had a lot of homework he decided to leave in the middle of the night.

Now, I fell asleep at about 11:45 and woke up about midnight and realized he was not there. I was a little confused bc I do not remeber him leaving.

So I texted him to ask what happened, and he said, ‘[yeah, I had to leave bc I have homework and decided to go since you were sleeping and I did not want to wake you. But I left you a note.]’

So I am tearing my room apart to find some long elaborate note that he left. And just when I gave up, I sat down at my desk and saw the little yellow sticky. (In the pic).

It read, ‘I Love You. <3.'

I was beyond grateful and excited, and every other great feeling.

That little yellow sticky meant more than any other gift, candy, item he has ever given me. So it just goes to show, its the little things that count.

!st Day of Spring, 1st Day Pissed.

!st Day of Spring, 1st Day Pissed.

So today is such a beautiful day, and if you live in Ohio, you have tons of things to be excited about.

Like how we are hopefully going to see more beautiful days and say good bye to this trash weather we have been having.

Like seriously, it snowed and got up to 60 degrees over night. Thanks, OH.

Plus, we only have a few weeks before classes are over and Summer break begins! (:

So why am I pissed?

B/c my crappy a** “Best Friend.” (Quotes are appropriate b/c he is being best friend-ly.).

Here’s why: He said he was going to try and make it down this week to visit. I was pretty excited b/c we have not seen each other in forever. I was also excited b/c I wanted him to meet my new bf.

Well he cannot come, bummer, but I was not extremely upset b/c this has been a busy week.

Any who, I texted him and told him how I wanted him to meet m bf and he basically declined. And now, he is upset apparently. Not upset b/c I have a bf but b/c I (guess) I gave him the wrong impression of what we would be doing if he came to visit.

(For lack of details) He wants to do something that I am not up for, for various reasons. He had expressed this at the time he told me he may come to visit, and I thought I was clear in saying I did not want to participate in this activity. Unfortunately, it was not as clear as I had thought.

So today we were texting about it, and this is when the mis-communication was evident.

So I am just like, “whatever” about this whole thing.

I wish it were an easy decision, but it is not… and no matter what happens, someone will be upset. So Eff it. Eff everyone. Lol.

However, I must add that I do feel just as crappy as James is being to me. And the reason is, b/c James is obviously my BF for specific reasons. (Ex; Definitely one of my most loyal friends, he’s there when I need him most, etc). So there is a part of me that hopes this does not interfere with our BFship, but then the other side of me feels he should be more understanding.

Besides, he should not let something so small come between us. However, if it should, it is probably worth it.

I guess what I really wan to say is, for the first time (basically ever) my BF will have to be on an equal plane as of bf, or my bf will have to come first. Its pretty simple.