Not MY Delivery!

This is a long-ish post about the devastating news I recently received that changed my entire birth plan.

 

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Here is the beautiful drawing I created as my birth plan for delivering this August. Unfortunately, none of this will happen as I am not allowed to deliver vaginally. My DR thought it would be beneficial for me to have an MRI to test for a neurological disorder that runs in my family.

I had no worries b/c I knew it would come back negative. Right? WRONG! It came back positive; I was diagnosed with Chiari Malformation Type I. This means my cerebellar tonsils are herniating down through my magnum foramen.

Therefore pushing during labor could cause too much pressure, resulting in a seizure, deeper herniation, and even death. Although I was bummed about being scheduled for a c-section, it was not so bad b/c at least Jake and I could experience this wonderful time together. I later learned that I cannot receive neither an epidural or a spinal, as those also pose too many risks for my condition. So now I’m forced to get general anesthesia during my c-section, which means Jake cannot be present for the baby’s birth. He may not be able to cut the umbilical cord and I will not be able to nurse the baby, as a result of the anesthesia.

 

On to better news: 

We are officially hospital and baby ready! The bags are packed, clothes are washed, and the nursery is complete. All that is left is to sanitize bottles the week before baby arrives and install the car seat next week. We are also having our carpet professionally cleaned but that is not as exciting.

And How is that Little One?

Baby is doing great! Gaining so much weight; coming in at an astounding 6 lbs and 5 oz. This means the baby is measuring in the 85th percentile, 🙂

Pic 1 shows the baby’s adorable face, although s/he is blocking the view b/c s/he is obviously tired of taking photos. Or maybe the baby is just being dramatic. Pic 2 shows the “fat rolls” the baby accumulated over the past few weeks. We are so grateful this little one is doing well and gaining a lot.

 

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And here is the most beautiful 3D ultrasound of the baby at 35 weeks and 4 days old. One upside to the c-section is that we know the exact date the baby will come. We are now just 22 very short days away.

Arriving:

Saturday, August 12, 2017, in the AM.

 

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My BF vs My bf.

So here’s the thing, a long time ago, I watched an episode of Degrassi.

Now, I don’t recall too many details as far as season, characters, names, etc. However, I remember a female character had a boyfriend (bf) and a best friend (BF). Both of the males in her life were going out for some position of student government (or something). Her bf got it and her BF was upset, so at the same time her bf wanted to celebrate, her BF wanted to wallow (in his misery, okay… it wasn’t that deep but you get the pic.).

At that moment, I decided I would never choose my bf over my BF.

…since this, I have stayed true to this motto.

Now. I don’t mean this in a bad way, like, “oh, she choosing.” But I mean if I am ever in a situation (perhaps like the one above) I am definitely going to wallow in misery with my BF. Some people may not agree with that, but I totally have my reasons.

For me, I have known my BF longer than I have known my bf. I met them both my freshman year in college. However, my BF is my best friend. That means we have a commitment to be there for each other, so I have to pick him. Not to mention that he’ll probably be there long after my bf. Besides, when you’re fighting with your bf, who will be there to talk to you about it? …your BF.

To me, picking the BF is the best option.

However, you can not let your BFship dictate who you date and how long you date them. You’ll definitely need boundaries, just to ensure they respect each other.

I feel I’m at a place where my BF knows how much he means to me. (Which is bad, I don’t like people to know how much they mean to me. I’ll discuss that another day.) But he (I feel) will have trouble respecting the guys I date because he means so much.

Example, one day we were texting and I was talking about my bf. However the conversation went, he said, “he [my boyfriend] needs to get over it because I [my best friend] will always be more important.” Thats right! Hm… I honestly thinks he said it in a joking manner but I still feel that is how he feels. This is hard because regardless of if its true, he lacked respect my saying that.

However, your boyfriend needs boundaries too. Example, my bf and I have discussed what we deem inappropriate and he mentioned that he would appreciate it if I didn’t allow my guy friends to sleepover. (Normally I would let any of my guy friends stay the night when they visit, if they don’t have anywhere else to stay. Or if its just convenient. So I told my bf I’d respect his wishes.) But. I let him know that my BF would be an exception.

So this is just to say its so hard when there is competition between your BF and bf.

He Came Back.

Background.

Alright, last week my boyfriend came to visit and it was like a disaster date. 

Yes, it was terrible.

I had two surprises and only one surprise went well.

I wasn’t mad, but I was totally disappointed.

The Make-Up.

So he apologized, which I obviously accepted. 

I think there was a small mis-communication. 

And he promised to come back soon. 

The ComeBack. 

So he came back yesterday.

He came straight after work, so he got here about 8:00AM.

I had ballet 11:00AM-Noon & Spanish 1:30PM-2:30PM, so that was his designated sleep time. 

(Last time he came and practically slept the entire time.)

So everything was going great, and I even got out of class early.

Our Day. 

So our plan was to sleep, eat, and visit a sex shop. 

The Sleep.

It was nice. It actually came after our first shower together. 

The shower was nice and sensual. Haha. 

Funny side note:

[I gave him a wash-rag and a towel.

And he didn’t use the WR, he just used the soap to wash with.

This is particularly funny to me because I always use a WR, but I know lots of people don’t.

So When I realize someone uses only soap, it always seems funny to me.]

And not to make this black/white-or-white/black, but it usually seems like a ‘white thing.’ 

– so, I accidentally made that a b/w-or-w/b thing, but I obviously don’t mind. 

The Eat.

We ordered pizza, half pepperoni & half cheese, I don’t eat pork. 

He, however, didn’t eat much. 

And then he made a joke about how we’ll eat pizza for the ‘rest of our lives.’

(How cute, right? That means we have a future! <3)

But that’s not true because I can cook spaghetti & nachos. Lol. 

…besides, he could always learn to cook. (:

The Sex Shop. 

(Warning: This contains adult material.) 

We planned to visit a local shop and buy toys!

…unfortunately, we never made it there. 

I think we were just too tired. (I know I was.)

Besides, we could always go another time. 

The Sex. 

What? That wasn’t a topic! …I know, it just kinda happened. 

Well, we laid back in bed and…

(That’s just a teaser, I’ll write about that on a separate post.) 

(:

Anxious, I Am

Everyone knows I recently started a new relationship.

And I’m so excited. Obviously. (He’s been in like three blogs, smh.)

I’m mainly excited because this is such a huge step for me, and this is the first in many ways. 

But I really really like him, so I have every right to be. (:

Well, I miss my boyfriend a lot. I thinks its because I haven’t seen him in forever! Its literally been about 12months. (Last time he he visited, we were just friends.)

When I miss him, I look at these:

We Love… Nive Nulls… Hecky Yeah… 

These pay homage to interracial relationships, interracial dating, and interracial couples. I recommend these because they highlight such a beautiful thing in such a beautiful way.