Born A Fan: The Announcement!

Happy May!

I hope you are having an amazing day, like I am. So last month I posted a picture of some of my favorite baby items that we have gotten so far. And today, I would like to tell you about one of my absolute favorite brands for baby!

And what brand is that? The Honest Company, of course!

Below is a (FREE) trial size bundle of some of their most popular products, that I will most definitely be using on the little one.  Not only are these products effective, but they are eco-friendly and free of harmful chemicals. So to me, it is a no-brainer. Their products are also backed by their Honestly Free Guarantee, which you can read about here.

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But Guess what? Just when you thought this company could not do any better, they did it. Introducing their new collection of MLB Diapers:

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These diapers are full of swag, not chemicals, and will have your little one dressed to impress!

Like, it seriously does not get any cuter than this. These diapers are great for the whole family; mom can use them knowing she is not harming her little one and dad can use them because he loves the team.

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Even if you are not a huge MLB fan, you will definitely find a pattern that you love because they offer so many prints. Click here to see their entire line of fabulous diapers.

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And what is the best part of their entire line of diapers? Two things actually; 1. The fact that the diapers are not only cute, but they are also sturdy, durable, yet disposable. And 2. The fact that you can order in bundles! (This means you will not be making midnight trips to the supermarket because you ran out of diapers.

Why Hello 2017!

Well hello there, everyone! How are you guys doing out there? Good? Good!

Whelp, I guess you are here for the BIG NEWS I mentioned in my “farewell 2016” post… and here it is:

This blog will become a journey blog, very shortly!

In fact, this post is just the pre-announcement post that should pave the way for the actual announcement that will come on February 14, 2017!

So hold on a little longer and continue to stay tuned b/c the big news will be announced here in about a month. Hint, hint: the announcement revolves around the type of journey I will begin documenting.

Until then, ttyl! 🙂

From a Motherless Daughter on Mothers’ Day.

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This is a short post explaining how I survived my first Mothers’ Day without my mom. 

Recap: My mom passed away 156 days ago. Since then my siblings and I have celebrated Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve – which is also my sister’s birthday, New Years Day, my little brother’s birthday, my mom’s birthday, Easter Day,and most recently, our first Mothers’ Day without her. 

Of all these days, her birthday has been the hardest for me. I literally sat in the counselor’s office, in between classes, just crying for an hour straight. I was so weak then and I thought it could not get any harder than that.

Back then, I could not even imagine myself being where I am now. But with the help of  counselors, my siblings, my cousins, my best friends, and Jake, I made it here.

Although this Mothers’ Day was the second hardest day for me, I made it. And trust me, that day, there were times that I really did not believe I would.

1. I read… a lot. My sister sent me an amazing poem for girls like us. This poem made me feel 1000 times better. It helped me realize that I did not miss my mom more that day than I did any other day but it still sucked. And every other holiday will too. This simple concept just comforted me in so many ways. This piece helped me find a series of books by Hope Edelman. These books were exactly what I needed.

Its a compilation of letters to and from motherless daughters, it was so insightful. Her books helped me realize that I am not alone. In fact, one of the very first stories in the book came from a girl who was in her fourth year of college and had lost her mother during break, just as I did.

2. I spent time with my best friend. We hung out for a little while, just having lunch and talking. This helped me get my mind off of things and helped me get out of the house.

3. Once I finally felt like that day was “just another day” I was able to practice some calligraphy/hand lettering. This helped me because I love art and it just makes me feel better to use art as an outlet for bad days.

The piece above was one of four pictures I drew for Mothers’ Day. I especially love this piece because there is one mother bird and four little birdies – representing my sisters and I.

What to Say to Someone Who Has Lost a Parent.

So I guess I will talk a little about my dad b/c he has only been mentioned briefly, in an old post.

Long story short, he died when I was seven.

B/c I was so young, I do not remember much about him and I do not feel I was deeply effected by his absence in my life. And I know many people could/would argue that have been effected whether or not I realize it.

Growing up, I do not remember anyone reaching out to me and offering their love/support after his death, and it was okay b/c we (my siblings and I) always had our mother. Not to mention I probably did not realize all that was happening, so I was able to be taken care of by my mother.

Well my mother has been a single parent since she had my older brother at age 15. And she did a wonderful job taking care of my five siblings all our lives.

Well recently, yesterday, she passed away and it is totally different.

I have so much to deal with and so much to worry about for myself. However, I am the least of my worries. I have five siblings who need me right now. My youngest sister is only eight, she literally cannot comprehend what is going on.

It breaks my heart more than anyone could ever imagine. I would never wish for anyone to lose a parent or even a close parent figure. I have never felt more helpless in my entire life. I have never felt the need to be stronger.

And I know there are so many people, family, friends, and even my recently acquired sorority sisters who are all asking how they could help. I do not know.

While I understand some people do not know what to say to me, I completely understand what they are going through b/c I cannot even find the words to comfort my siblings.

What am I supposed to say to minors who have lost their only capable parent? What do I say when they say they miss her? What can I even do to take their pain away? I am in the same situation and I cannot even help them in this way.

I sit here and wipe all the tears as I write and it hurts so bad. Physically my throat hurts from crying so much, mentally I do not even know what to say to them so that hurts, emotionally I cannot even imagine how they feel b/c we are six different personalities. I do not know every detail of their relationship with her so I cannot understand.

And it is even different for me b/c I have Jake. Jake is literally the most amazing man I have ever laid eyes on. He has been there since her accident and has not left my side since. He has called off work. He has brought us dinner/lunch/breakfast. He has talked to my siblings and me. He has offered any and every service you can think of. He has wiped tears. He has has stayed up all night just to hug me. It is just so reassuring to know that he feels this way, although we only met this year. I thank God for sending him and his parents for making him. I love him so much and I am so thankful for him.

And even though it hurts me b/c I lost my mom, it hurts me even more b/c they lost her too.

I love them more than anything and I want nothing but the best for each and every one of them.

His First National Ranking!

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This is Michael. My younger brother. He does KARATE and is raising funds to fight in an out of state tournament for his first national ranking.

Help him ; Donate Here.

Pinch Me, I Must Be Dreaming.

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Oh. Em. Gee! (I literally keep screaming b/c I cannot even believe I am about to announce this.)

Jake…and I, had our first baby, together. (:

I know I never announced that we were expecting but that is b/c we built our baby.

Now. Without further ado, I introduce to you: Cassio R-D. Our Build-A-Bear son.

Today we had the pleasure of creating him. As exciting as this is, it is not the biggest part of our news.

Today, we even had the pleasure of checking out…PAUSE.

Lets first take a quick look at our relationship, how I feel about him, and how he feels about me.

*Note: This is long, feel free to skip to the next italic section to get the short version of this post.*

Our Story:
we met ‘online’ Jan. 2014. We hung out soon after. Our first meeting was really laid back and casual. While I thought he was a little boring, and he thought I was crazy (I pulled my taser out on him. Lol.) We both wanted to see each other again.

By Feb. 2014, we knew we would be together. He asked me out, and I agreed. We have exclusively been dating since then.

Not long after, he expressed his love for me. While I was a little surprised (b/c technically he claimed to have loved me before we were dating), I actually believed him.

Well since then, we have moved in together. Met the parents. (Grand parents and cousins too). Etc.

Recently, during a deep conversation with him, I realized just how much he means to me. I realized that he is literally he most amazing man that I know (and in the world). There is nothing I would not do for him. And I really love him. Everything about him.

I enjoy how he keeps me grounded and can always calm me down. I enjoy how easily he can make me laugh and smile. I enjoy how he interacts with my family. I enjoy how dedicated he is to making me happy. I enjoy how he makes me a better person. And most importantly, I enjoy how he accept me as I am. (Like really, I am in serious need of anger management and he is so dedicated to helping me through the process.)

Just for the record, I have never felt like this about anyone before. He is my first love, as well as my first serious relationship. There is not anyone else I would rather be with. He impresses and surprises me everyday. I cannot wait until we can spend the rest of our days together.

Back to the initial story…

Today, Jake and I looked at some rings! Yes, rings. Wedding rings. Engagement rings. Promise rings. Etc.

It was soo much fun. I tried some things on. We talked prices, styles, colors, materials, etc. The women were so nice and helpful. They took my ‘no vision’ (b/c this was our first day looking, we had nothing in mind) an turned it into a beautiful ring.

Yep, this means we picked the ring out. (Pics coming soon, as it first has to be sized and picked up).

I cannot wait to share the pics with everyone.

Now, as anyone can imagine, this day was beyond perfect and special. I do not think you guys actually understand!

The past few days, we stayed the night at my moms place (to celebrate Mimi’s birthday -pics coming soon). However, my mom mentioned that (long story short) I was smothering Jake.

And jokingly, he agreed. I was devastated. Not b/c he agreed, but b/c this was the first time anyone has ever said anything. And… I know it is true.

B/c we live together, we obviously do not get much time apart. However, whenever we go out, I have to hold his hand. Or sit next to him. And basically… smother him.

Now, it is not intentional however, since he started third shift, our schedule has been off. He gets home early, we eat. Nap. I get up soon after, but he is still sleeping. And before you know it, he is getting up and ready for work.

While we are physically together everyday, we have not spent as much time together. We have not done dinner and a movie in a couple weeks. We have not cooked together for a while. And we have not taken a walk for a while. It has been work-work-work for the past few weeks.

Then, to make things worse, we have not even been spending time together on his off days. We used to spend those days staying in bed and cuddling, but b/c he is helping my family paint, we have been with them. And everyone loves him, so they want to hang out with him. And play with him. And talk to him. So I have been forced to share my boyfriend with everyone else, note- our lack of time alone.

I know I should be happy that everyone loves him, and he loves them however, it just makes me feel like I never get him to myself. It also made me realize just how mean I am. Not to him, but to everyone. (I should be excused, I need anger management… like really). But, I shall not justify anything. I guess there is a small part of me that is afraid he will possibly break up with me b/c ‘I am so rude and so mean.’

So after a long few days of feeling like a terrible and annoying gf, I decided to give him a break and stay away for the weekend. But after spending time together today, we assured me that I have nothing to worry about.

It feels good. No great. Well… it is an inexplicable feeling.

Well this has been a very long and emotional post (no, I did not cry… I am not the crying type.), I must bring it to an end. For I have some things to look up and some planning to do.

But… to recap, we had a baby bear and picked out the most beautiful ring in the world today. I am internally and externally grateful for Jake.