Is everywhere, literally, and it is absolutely annoying! People will always offer their unwanted advice and as a mom, you have to decide if you will take it or not.
Now, for starters, people need to understand that just because you are a mom, does NOT mean you are an expert… at anything. And beyond that, most of the advice you will get is either irrelevant (b/c every family/mom/baby is different), outdated, or just plain ‘ole bad!
So I have decided to share with you some “great” advice that we have decided to straight up ignore:
- NEVER let baby sleep in your bed,
- So this is actually great advice, as it comes from the American Academy of Pediatrics for safe sleep. And honestly for that reason, I am 100% against cosleeping and bed sharing, however, I must admit, we are bed sharing. This was not by choice but let me tell you, if you have a c-section, it will likely happen. Here is why, after having major abdominal surgery, you will not be able to easily bend or twist to retrieve the baby from a bassinet and it will cause a lot of pain when you attempt it. When we first got home, he would sleep in a bassinet without any problems but it was too painful for me to lift him out. I pushed through and kept trying for about a week before giving up and I partially believe that was one reason my healing process took longer than expected.
- Give your baby mashed potatoes or pet’s milk to help him gain weight,
- Oh HELL to the NAW! So quicky story, Maxy would vomit up to eight times per day due to some unknown GI issues, so he had (and still has) poor weight gain. So someone, who will remain nameless, thought it would be a good idea to give him some abnormal milk and table food. This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, why would I give him something that could possibly upset his GI tract even more? *rolls eyes*
- Do not give baby a pacifier,
- This is what they tell you if you are breastfeeding since it could cause nipple confusion. However, we gave Maxy one for two reasons: 1. I never planned to breastfeed so I did not care about nipple confusion and 2. Thumbsucking is one ugly habit to break. I see it first hand with my nephew.
- Do not put baby on a schedule, let him lead you,
- Nope! Growing up my mom was great – but she was an unorganized mess. (Lol, trust me, everyone would agree!) That actually drove me to (literally) be OCD about planning and scheduling. So I firmly believe children crave and NEED structure from a young age. And I will say, Max is three months old and he is already on a schedule that he recognizes. I believe he is so comfortable with his schedule b/c it started the day he was born.
- Lil’ backstory: at the hospital, we were told to feed him 1oz every two hours. So… this stuck, and as he grows and eats more, we just incorporate a few more things. For ex: He eats 3.5oz every 3 hours. At night, I massage or bathe him, feed him, then leave him to sleep. And get this – he puts himself to sleep. 😉
- Do not read parenting books/articles b/c it will not teach you to be a parent,
- It could be b/c I love school or it could be that I love planning, but I read everything I could get my hands on! After all, I am not able to go to my mom to just ask for advice about everything so I am alone in all of this. I truly believe all the great things we read and the classes we took, has helped us to parent Max. And he is one little independent guy.
- Be quiet when baby is napping,
- Based on things I have read, this is bad for baby. If you are always quiet when baby is napping, baby will grow to only be able to sleep if everything is 100% quiet. This means every little noise will wake your little one. No one wants that! We have been doing this and guess what? Max will sleep through the tv, talking, and even the fire alarm. Literally. Disclaimer: at night, you should keep noises to a minimum b/c that helps baby distinguish between naps and bedtime.