Not MY Delivery!

This is a long-ish post about the devastating news I recently received that changed my entire birth plan.

 

img_0748

Here is the beautiful drawing I created as my birth plan for delivering this August. Unfortunately, none of this will happen as I am not allowed to deliver vaginally. My DR thought it would be beneficial for me to have an MRI to test for a neurological disorder that runs in my family.

I had no worries b/c I knew it would come back negative. Right? WRONG! It came back positive; I was diagnosed with Chiari Malformation Type I. This means my cerebellar tonsils are herniating down through my magnum foramen.

Therefore pushing during labor could cause too much pressure, resulting in a seizure, deeper herniation, and even death. Although I was bummed about being scheduled for a c-section, it was not so bad b/c at least Jake and I could experience this wonderful time together. I later learned that I cannot receive neither an epidural or a spinal, as those also pose too many risks for my condition. So now I’m forced to get general anesthesia during my c-section, which means Jake cannot be present for the baby’s birth. He may not be able to cut the umbilical cord and I will not be able to nurse the baby, as a result of the anesthesia.

 

On to better news: 

We are officially hospital and baby ready! The bags are packed, clothes are washed, and the nursery is complete. All that is left is to sanitize bottles the week before baby arrives and install the car seat next week. We are also having our carpet professionally cleaned but that is not as exciting.

And How is that Little One?

Baby is doing great! Gaining so much weight; coming in at an astounding 6 lbs and 5 oz. This means the baby is measuring in the 85th percentile, 🙂

Pic 1 shows the baby’s adorable face, although s/he is blocking the view b/c s/he is obviously tired of taking photos. Or maybe the baby is just being dramatic. Pic 2 shows the “fat rolls” the baby accumulated over the past few weeks. We are so grateful this little one is doing well and gaining a lot.

 

img_0743

And here is the most beautiful 3D ultrasound of the baby at 35 weeks and 4 days old. One upside to the c-section is that we know the exact date the baby will come. We are now just 22 very short days away.

Arriving:

Saturday, August 12, 2017, in the AM.

 

Advertisements

How’s Baby Anyway?!

Believe it or not, we are 54 very short days from meeting this little bundle of joy!

Baby:

Everything is going and great and progressing right along. We decided to hold off on posting until we had more very cute pics to share! The good news is, we just had an appointment this week, therefore, we do have new pics to share!

img_0719
A little profile of this sweet kid. 

 

We found out this little chunker is measuring 10 days ahead of schedule. (Coming in at a whopping 4 lbs!) And the little one is already head down. We meet with the DR again next week for another routine visit. Since we are nearing the end of this portion of our journey, our visits will become more frequent.

 

 

img_0720
The little one has hair!

 

Mama and Papa:

Jake and I are doing great, just wrapping up things around the house and at work, as we prepare to welcome the little one. We have bought all the baby necessities and essentials. Now we just need to start packing our bags, install the carseat, wash the clothes, and sterilize the bottles.

We have completed our baby care class and started our weekly birthing classes, which have been very informative. We have narrowed down the list of potential baby names.

We have even found out the gender! (Well… Jake has.)

 

img_0722.jpg
The chunkiest cheeks in all the land!

Now just look at this cute wittle face!! We are dying to meet this kid. Stay tuned.

 

From a Motherless Daughter on Mothers’ Day.

wpid-imag0231_1.jpg

This is a short post explaining how I survived my first Mothers’ Day without my mom. 

Recap: My mom passed away 156 days ago. Since then my siblings and I have celebrated Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve – which is also my sister’s birthday, New Years Day, my little brother’s birthday, my mom’s birthday, Easter Day,and most recently, our first Mothers’ Day without her. 

Of all these days, her birthday has been the hardest for me. I literally sat in the counselor’s office, in between classes, just crying for an hour straight. I was so weak then and I thought it could not get any harder than that.

Back then, I could not even imagine myself being where I am now. But with the help of  counselors, my siblings, my cousins, my best friends, and Jake, I made it here.

Although this Mothers’ Day was the second hardest day for me, I made it. And trust me, that day, there were times that I really did not believe I would.

1. I read… a lot. My sister sent me an amazing poem for girls like us. This poem made me feel 1000 times better. It helped me realize that I did not miss my mom more that day than I did any other day but it still sucked. And every other holiday will too. This simple concept just comforted me in so many ways. This piece helped me find a series of books by Hope Edelman. These books were exactly what I needed.

Its a compilation of letters to and from motherless daughters, it was so insightful. Her books helped me realize that I am not alone. In fact, one of the very first stories in the book came from a girl who was in her fourth year of college and had lost her mother during break, just as I did.

2. I spent time with my best friend. We hung out for a little while, just having lunch and talking. This helped me get my mind off of things and helped me get out of the house.

3. Once I finally felt like that day was “just another day” I was able to practice some calligraphy/hand lettering. This helped me because I love art and it just makes me feel better to use art as an outlet for bad days.

The piece above was one of four pictures I drew for Mothers’ Day. I especially love this piece because there is one mother bird and four little birdies – representing my sisters and I.

Some Things You Never Knew About College!

Here, on my other site, I have began a mini college series.

The posts have/will feature some advice, tips, tricks, etc about surviving college. And so far, they have been a huge hit.

Take a look here. 🙂

Pinch Me, I Must Be Dreaming.

image

Oh. Em. Gee! (I literally keep screaming b/c I cannot even believe I am about to announce this.)

Jake…and I, had our first baby, together. (:

I know I never announced that we were expecting but that is b/c we built our baby.

Now. Without further ado, I introduce to you: Cassio R-D. Our Build-A-Bear son.

Today we had the pleasure of creating him. As exciting as this is, it is not the biggest part of our news.

Today, we even had the pleasure of checking out…PAUSE.

Lets first take a quick look at our relationship, how I feel about him, and how he feels about me.

*Note: This is long, feel free to skip to the next italic section to get the short version of this post.*

Our Story:
we met ‘online’ Jan. 2014. We hung out soon after. Our first meeting was really laid back and casual. While I thought he was a little boring, and he thought I was crazy (I pulled my taser out on him. Lol.) We both wanted to see each other again.

By Feb. 2014, we knew we would be together. He asked me out, and I agreed. We have exclusively been dating since then.

Not long after, he expressed his love for me. While I was a little surprised (b/c technically he claimed to have loved me before we were dating), I actually believed him.

Well since then, we have moved in together. Met the parents. (Grand parents and cousins too). Etc.

Recently, during a deep conversation with him, I realized just how much he means to me. I realized that he is literally he most amazing man that I know (and in the world). There is nothing I would not do for him. And I really love him. Everything about him.

I enjoy how he keeps me grounded and can always calm me down. I enjoy how easily he can make me laugh and smile. I enjoy how he interacts with my family. I enjoy how dedicated he is to making me happy. I enjoy how he makes me a better person. And most importantly, I enjoy how he accept me as I am. (Like really, I am in serious need of anger management and he is so dedicated to helping me through the process.)

Just for the record, I have never felt like this about anyone before. He is my first love, as well as my first serious relationship. There is not anyone else I would rather be with. He impresses and surprises me everyday. I cannot wait until we can spend the rest of our days together.

Back to the initial story…

Today, Jake and I looked at some rings! Yes, rings. Wedding rings. Engagement rings. Promise rings. Etc.

It was soo much fun. I tried some things on. We talked prices, styles, colors, materials, etc. The women were so nice and helpful. They took my ‘no vision’ (b/c this was our first day looking, we had nothing in mind) an turned it into a beautiful ring.

Yep, this means we picked the ring out. (Pics coming soon, as it first has to be sized and picked up).

I cannot wait to share the pics with everyone.

Now, as anyone can imagine, this day was beyond perfect and special. I do not think you guys actually understand!

The past few days, we stayed the night at my moms place (to celebrate Mimi’s birthday -pics coming soon). However, my mom mentioned that (long story short) I was smothering Jake.

And jokingly, he agreed. I was devastated. Not b/c he agreed, but b/c this was the first time anyone has ever said anything. And… I know it is true.

B/c we live together, we obviously do not get much time apart. However, whenever we go out, I have to hold his hand. Or sit next to him. And basically… smother him.

Now, it is not intentional however, since he started third shift, our schedule has been off. He gets home early, we eat. Nap. I get up soon after, but he is still sleeping. And before you know it, he is getting up and ready for work.

While we are physically together everyday, we have not spent as much time together. We have not done dinner and a movie in a couple weeks. We have not cooked together for a while. And we have not taken a walk for a while. It has been work-work-work for the past few weeks.

Then, to make things worse, we have not even been spending time together on his off days. We used to spend those days staying in bed and cuddling, but b/c he is helping my family paint, we have been with them. And everyone loves him, so they want to hang out with him. And play with him. And talk to him. So I have been forced to share my boyfriend with everyone else, note- our lack of time alone.

I know I should be happy that everyone loves him, and he loves them however, it just makes me feel like I never get him to myself. It also made me realize just how mean I am. Not to him, but to everyone. (I should be excused, I need anger management… like really). But, I shall not justify anything. I guess there is a small part of me that is afraid he will possibly break up with me b/c ‘I am so rude and so mean.’

So after a long few days of feeling like a terrible and annoying gf, I decided to give him a break and stay away for the weekend. But after spending time together today, we assured me that I have nothing to worry about.

It feels good. No great. Well… it is an inexplicable feeling.

Well this has been a very long and emotional post (no, I did not cry… I am not the crying type.), I must bring it to an end. For I have some things to look up and some planning to do.

But… to recap, we had a baby bear and picked out the most beautiful ring in the world today. I am internally and externally grateful for Jake.

Belated Birthday.

image

This post is all about Jake’s birthday! Ps…do not worry, there is a perfectly good explaination as to why I did not hand draw a pic for this occasion!

His birthday was amazing, I got him this gift. Which he picked out, therefore he was sure to love it.

And his parents came to take him out to dinner. His parents, his siblings (minus four…he is one of eight!), and myself went to have dinner at Texas Roadhouse.

This was a pretty big deal b/c if you recall, this would be my first time ever meeting his parents. (:

Well, I met them… and it went pretty great (if you ask me).

They seemed really nice and excited to be spending time with Jake. His dad didn’t speak much, which I thought was pretty funny b/c Jake is like that, sometimes. And his mom is soo pretty. She looked so nice and young, I honestly thought his mom was his sister. She asked a few questions, which I thought was pretty nice.

After dinner, they came back to hang out. I got the chance to watch her cut Jake’s hair. This was big b/c lately I have been cutting his hair and I would like to cut it the way she does. (Moms do everything BEST).

Not long after, I left b/c I had community service the next morning. However, when my mom came to pick me up, my mom got to meet his parents. Also very nice. Ps… my mom thinks his mom is pretty too. Lol. (:

Here is a great mini announcement: I will be opening my hand drawn papery! Now, I cannot give a date but it will eventually happen. I am shooting for Jan. 2015, as I have so much work to do! Right now all I have is a dream and a few materials. I have just left my quiet phase (where I spent time teaching myself to work with hand lettering a well as watercolors) and this is my public phase. I have made the announcement, but I have not started my official launch.

Stay tuned.

A Party For Jake.

image

Lets first discuss this pic: It is my ‘Happy Birthday’ page. It includes some hand lettering as well as illustrations. As you can see, I am getting pretty darn good. 🙂

I am really proud of my work, so more pics coming soon.

So July 6 will be Jake’s 25th birthday*. So with his birthday coming up, I decided to buy him a gift and throw him a surprise party.

The Gift:

As you probably can guess, the gift was the hardest part. I could not decide what to get him. He does not play videos games, he does not have any real hobbies, and I hate getting people things they ‘need’ over things they ‘want’ for their birthday. After searching long and hard, I could not choose between a Beef Jerky variety set and Doctor Who disappearing coffee mug.

Well we played a game where I call out random gifts in a random order (with the two gifts I was most heavily considering included) and he told me ‘yes’ or ‘no’ on whether or not he would want it.

It turned out he did not want either. 😦

And my initial thought was to get him a really nice and rather expensive Coach wallet. (It was like super nice and he needed one b/c his old one was falling apart.) But… he needed it and I know he is not particularly into expensive things.

So I literally had no idea what to get him and I wanted to give up. But we went to the outlet mall and could not pass up the great sales going on in Coach and we ended up with a Coach wallet (for him) and a Coach bag (for me). 😉

Everything was great.

The Party:

Due to everything going on, we had to postpone the party to one day later. And right before I knew it my mom had shared the news, so it was no longer a surprise.

So yesterday we grilled a few things, had some pasta, and cake. It was a lot of fun. I think he enjoyed himself. We even saw fireworks downtown and did some sparklers with the littles.

Over the time we stayed with my family, he talked to his parents, who obviously wanted to come visit him for his birthday.

Only problem is, they planned to come Sunday and I would be here Sunday b/c I have a community service-free weekend.

The Parents:

Because they were planning to come this weekend, I asked if he wanted me to go home so he could spend time with them alone.

Well he stated that I could stay, if I wanted to meet him. (Awkward Moment.)

Now, it is not that I do not want to meet them. I just feel that he felt a bit obligated b/c he has met my entire family. I would have preferred he allowed me to meet them on his own terms, perhaps a time when he felt more comfortable and less obligated. I am in no rush to meet them, I just like for things to happen naturally.

So we did not talk about it more, until he was headed to work. I attempted to get out of it, by saying I would go home and come back next weekend. However, it was too late. Apparently he told his dad that I would be here. So I got stuck here in a sense.

And now I just feel awkward b/c I am not really sure he genuinely wants me to meet them.

But for the record, I am not upset nor am I nervous. Everyone loves me.

So expect another post after the weekend.