This is a short post explaining how I survived my first Mothers’ Day without my mom.
Recap: My mom passed away 156 days ago. Since then my siblings and I have celebrated Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve – which is also my sister’s birthday, New Years Day, my little brother’s birthday, my mom’s birthday, Easter Day,and most recently, our first Mothers’ Day without her.
Of all these days, her birthday has been the hardest for me. I literally sat in the counselor’s office, in between classes, just crying for an hour straight. I was so weak then and I thought it could not get any harder than that.
Back then, I could not even imagine myself being where I am now. But with the help of counselors, my siblings, my cousins, my best friends, and Jake, I made it here.
Although this Mothers’ Day was the second hardest day for me, I made it. And trust me, that day, there were times that I really did not believe I would.
1. I read… a lot. My sister sent me an amazing poem for girls like us. This poem made me feel 1000 times better. It helped me realize that I did not miss my mom more that day than I did any other day but it still sucked. And every other holiday will too. This simple concept just comforted me in so many ways. This piece helped me find a series of books by Hope Edelman. These books were exactly what I needed.
Its a compilation of letters to and from motherless daughters, it was so insightful. Her books helped me realize that I am not alone. In fact, one of the very first stories in the book came from a girl who was in her fourth year of college and had lost her mother during break, just as I did.
2. I spent time with my best friend. We hung out for a little while, just having lunch and talking. This helped me get my mind off of things and helped me get out of the house.
3. Once I finally felt like that day was “just another day” I was able to practice some calligraphy/hand lettering. This helped me because I love art and it just makes me feel better to use art as an outlet for bad days.
The piece above was one of four pictures I drew for Mothers’ Day. I especially love this piece because there is one mother bird and four little birdies – representing my sisters and I.