This is the Worst Life of My Life.
When you repeatedly have bad days, it becomes a bad week. When you repeatedly have bad weeks, it becomes a bad semester (for college students). But when you repeatedly have bad semesters (or months), it leads to years. So after repeatedly having bad years, whats next? I’m going to say a bad life! (A little dramatic but whatever.)
Soo yeah. I realized to day was “the worst day ever” and then… realized I said that yesterday… and the day before… and the day before that. Get the picture?
Well I had a friend who used to always say she had the worst life of her life, jokingly but that really describes how I feel at this very moment.
This whole day, week, month, semester, has just been soo long for me.
And granted, I did procrastinate more than usual this semester. I did not feel as focused as I usually am at the beginning of the semester, and my focus still has not reached its full potential for the semester. (Dude, the last day of class is tomorrow!) And now I feel like I am paying the price.
Loving Him is Red.
And to make things worse, Jake finally realizes that I am a “mean” person. Yep, after all these months. (10 months and three days to be exact.) He is just realizing it and it irritates me a little.
When we first met, I warned him that I was not a very nice person. Normally I would not introduce myself as such but I did for him just because he seemed to be so nice. (And he still is.) I just did not understand how someone so nice, could be interested in someone as mean as myself.
And maybe he thought I was nice, or maybe he just did not believe me… but whatever the case, he just seems to be so surprised by my attitude towards things/people.
Well I recently began anger management (for multiple reasons) and I thought it seemed to be working, so I have been super excited. However, apparently I am the only one who thinks so. Jake thinks I have been meaner and my family thinks I have been the same.
Which pisses me off even more.
This is why I do not like relationships, because they are too much work. And I do not mean that in a bad way. Nor am I saying I do want to be in one, or that I am not ready for one.
But when you are single, you can do what you want and be what you want. You do not have to make time to spend with your significant other, you do not have to be nice, or anything else. If you are happy… that is that.
However, since I am with Jake, I cannot be happy, if he is not happy. And I do not feel happy that he thinks I am mean. Just like I am not happy when my family thinks I am mean.
I am super bummed out that he feels this way because I feel he makes me such a nicer person. He literally calms me, its unbelievable.
Anyways… I have to type my term paper.