Pinch Me, I Must Be Dreaming.

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Oh. Em. Gee! (I literally keep screaming b/c I cannot even believe I am about to announce this.)

Jake…and I, had our first baby, together. (:

I know I never announced that we were expecting but that is b/c we built our baby.

Now. Without further ado, I introduce to you: Cassio R-D. Our Build-A-Bear son.

Today we had the pleasure of creating him. As exciting as this is, it is not the biggest part of our news.

Today, we even had the pleasure of checking out…PAUSE.

Lets first take a quick look at our relationship, how I feel about him, and how he feels about me.

*Note: This is long, feel free to skip to the next italic section to get the short version of this post.*

Our Story:
we met ‘online’ Jan. 2014. We hung out soon after. Our first meeting was really laid back and casual. While I thought he was a little boring, and he thought I was crazy (I pulled my taser out on him. Lol.) We both wanted to see each other again.

By Feb. 2014, we knew we would be together. He asked me out, and I agreed. We have exclusively been dating since then.

Not long after, he expressed his love for me. While I was a little surprised (b/c technically he claimed to have loved me before we were dating), I actually believed him.

Well since then, we have moved in together. Met the parents. (Grand parents and cousins too). Etc.

Recently, during a deep conversation with him, I realized just how much he means to me. I realized that he is literally he most amazing man that I know (and in the world). There is nothing I would not do for him. And I really love him. Everything about him.

I enjoy how he keeps me grounded and can always calm me down. I enjoy how easily he can make me laugh and smile. I enjoy how he interacts with my family. I enjoy how dedicated he is to making me happy. I enjoy how he makes me a better person. And most importantly, I enjoy how he accept me as I am. (Like really, I am in serious need of anger management and he is so dedicated to helping me through the process.)

Just for the record, I have never felt like this about anyone before. He is my first love, as well as my first serious relationship. There is not anyone else I would rather be with. He impresses and surprises me everyday. I cannot wait until we can spend the rest of our days together.

Back to the initial story…

Today, Jake and I looked at some rings! Yes, rings. Wedding rings. Engagement rings. Promise rings. Etc.

It was soo much fun. I tried some things on. We talked prices, styles, colors, materials, etc. The women were so nice and helpful. They took my ‘no vision’ (b/c this was our first day looking, we had nothing in mind) an turned it into a beautiful ring.

Yep, this means we picked the ring out. (Pics coming soon, as it first has to be sized and picked up).

I cannot wait to share the pics with everyone.

Now, as anyone can imagine, this day was beyond perfect and special. I do not think you guys actually understand!

The past few days, we stayed the night at my moms place (to celebrate Mimi’s birthday -pics coming soon). However, my mom mentioned that (long story short) I was smothering Jake.

And jokingly, he agreed. I was devastated. Not b/c he agreed, but b/c this was the first time anyone has ever said anything. And… I know it is true.

B/c we live together, we obviously do not get much time apart. However, whenever we go out, I have to hold his hand. Or sit next to him. And basically… smother him.

Now, it is not intentional however, since he started third shift, our schedule has been off. He gets home early, we eat. Nap. I get up soon after, but he is still sleeping. And before you know it, he is getting up and ready for work.

While we are physically together everyday, we have not spent as much time together. We have not done dinner and a movie in a couple weeks. We have not cooked together for a while. And we have not taken a walk for a while. It has been work-work-work for the past few weeks.

Then, to make things worse, we have not even been spending time together on his off days. We used to spend those days staying in bed and cuddling, but b/c he is helping my family paint, we have been with them. And everyone loves him, so they want to hang out with him. And play with him. And talk to him. So I have been forced to share my boyfriend with everyone else, note- our lack of time alone.

I know I should be happy that everyone loves him, and he loves them however, it just makes me feel like I never get him to myself. It also made me realize just how mean I am. Not to him, but to everyone. (I should be excused, I need anger management… like really). But, I shall not justify anything. I guess there is a small part of me that is afraid he will possibly break up with me b/c ‘I am so rude and so mean.’

So after a long few days of feeling like a terrible and annoying gf, I decided to give him a break and stay away for the weekend. But after spending time together today, we assured me that I have nothing to worry about.

It feels good. No great. Well… it is an inexplicable feeling.

Well this has been a very long and emotional post (no, I did not cry… I am not the crying type.), I must bring it to an end. For I have some things to look up and some planning to do.

But… to recap, we had a baby bear and picked out the most beautiful ring in the world today. I am internally and externally grateful for Jake.

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