So here is the (very very long) overdue relationship update!
So, we’ve been together for three months (going on four, June 27).
Everything is still going pretty well. We’ve had some disagreements and spent some time together.
Blah, blah, blah… so, I’m going to actually take this time to vent about our little “problems.”
So, obviously… the distance!
I knew this would be an LDR when we got together, but I didn’t think I would mind. See… I actually preferred to be far, b/c I didn’t want to be bothered by a boyfriend every single day.
Well, here’s the thing. I happen to like him a lot more than I expected to like him. So b/c I like him so much more than I originally did, now I want to spend all my time with him and thats not possible with our distance.
And to make things worse, he never has time to do anything! A while back, he complained about me not calling him. I decided, I’d start calling. I have called him three separate times and he didn’t answer. I’m like why would you even asked someone to call, if you didn’t have intentions on answering.
Then… he did the same about video chatting. He wanted me to video chat him, but he doesn’t even have time to do it. Like seriously… what was even the point?
Then… to complicate things some more. He feels like there is competition between himself and James. (My BF). This is a problem for me b/c I don’t get why he’d feel that way.
And he wants us to be closer (than James & I) but he doesn’t make an effort to getting us there, when he lacks time to do anything. And really, that wouldn’t bother me, but with this distance (b/c we can’t physically be together) he (well we, but I really try) needs to make up for it in some way. And right now, hats just not happening. And I don’t see us being closer than my BF any time soon.
Additionally, I don’t feel like we’re growing at all. I know just as little now as I did from back when we 1st got together. And he know the same about me. And its a problem for me b/c its like he doesn’t even notice that we’re not growing.
Then, I don’t like how he never ask about my day or my opinion. Well… I just know that when I ask someone a question, I expect them to ask me the same question. But he doesn’t do that.
Plus, I made this pic (here on the post) just for him, I always make stuff. I asked him if he loved it (which he should b/c I made it.) and he basically told me no. …thats when I decided I wasn’t making him anything else.
So… yeah, it all seems pretty bad. Right? Its really not. Its just that all the annoying stuff is here together at once.
Truth is, I thought about us and our future. You know? Whether or not we have one, like what if we don’t make it? I could be doing a lot cooler things and having a lot more fun, if I were single.
And thats when I decided, it wouldn’t be worth it. I like him way too much and we have real potential to turn this into something serious. Besides, I realized, I don’t really care to do anything else with anyone else.
Everything is just harder with distance. I know its distance, b/c if we were together, none of it would bother me.
*Added After Original Publish Date*
Oh yeah, and apparently my blog makes him feel “some way.” Basically, it makes him feel bad. He thinks I blog about more stuff than I talk about with him. (Which is true but seriously… its a blog. Not to mention he’s a little on the sensitive side, so its tons of things I can’t say to him b/c I think it’ll offend him). But I don’t like the fact that he doesn’t read my blog, I think he should feel obligated to read it. (But whatever, and just for the record, James reads it).
Then, we always have these little debates (or whatever you want to call them) about him and his feelings. He always tells me how he feels (which I like, b/c I’m not good at ‘guessing’ how people feel) but I don’t like that he doesn’t like my reaction to his expression. Most times, I think he’s just being ‘too sensitive’ and I don’t think its even worth talking it all the way out. However, he feels if he tells me, its automatically grounds for a discussion (until he feels better or reassured or something). And b/c I react in an opposite manner, it makes him feels as if I don’t care about his feelings. But see… here’s the thing, I’m not good at putting myself in others’ shoes.